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Best OUT OF OFFICE email auto-replies

Choose your favourite line.

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 27 Ianuarie 2012
Nota 6.7 din 21 voturi : : Comentarii: 2

Funny letter of a blonde mother to her son

Dear Son:

Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won't know the house when you come home, we've moved.

About your father... He has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 3 Iunie 2011
Nota 9.4 din 24 voturi : : Comentarii: 1

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: LyricsRudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: Lyrics

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 22 Decembrie 2010
Nota 8.9 din 15 voturi : : Trimis: de 2 ori

Versuri originale: Szomorú Vasárnap (Gloomy Sunday)

Duminica trista (Gloomy Sunday) - celebrul cantec 'Hungarian Suicide Song' - a fost compus in 1933. Melodia si versurile au fost compuse de Rezsõ Seress, pianist si compozitor nascut in Ungaria, in 1899.

Rezsõ Seress lyrics

Szomorú Vasárnap

Õsz van és peregnek a sárgult levelek
Meghalt a földön az emberi szeretet
Bánatos könnyekkel zokog az öszi [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 26 Septembrie 2009
Nota 8.2 din 5 voturi : : Comentarii: 1

My lifeMy life

I want my life be different
and I could be someone else,
to die and to live in the same time,
to love and hate you forever to feel alive.
I wish.......................... to be with you
because you are my life. : : deschide articolul

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 1 Mai 2009
Nota 8.5 din 19 voturi : : Comentarii: 5

Husband 1.0 Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 12 Martie 2009
Nota 8.0 din 9 voturi : : Comentarii: 2

Why should you check your children's
homeworkWhy should you check your children's homework

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in:

See the picture attached. :-))

A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment.


After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:


Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 28 Ianuarie 2009
Nota 7.3 din 14 voturi : : Trimis: de 2 ori

Winners versus losers

Are you a winner? :-) ... or a loser? ... :-(


Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

Winners see the gains;
Losers see the pain.

Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

Winners make commitments;
Losers make [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 7 Octombrie 2008
Nota 8.8 din 12 voturi

What NOT To Give Her For Valentines Day

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Any food item with the words "diet," "light," or "high fiber" on the label.

3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.

4. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.

5. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 13 Februarie 2008
Nota 8.4 din 13 voturi

Updated Golden Oldie

****** ****** ****** ****** ******

Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit our best wishes for
an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular [...] citeste tot

Categoria: Texte in Engleza English
Pe site din data de: 19 Decembrie 2007
Nota 7.0 din 9 voturi

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