proposed: 28 Feb 2007
"IT'S A GUY THING" Mother of the Year. In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their [...]
"There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no
chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on
"UH HUH," "SURE,
HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO
LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have
no idea how it works."
BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game
over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY
Translated: "I remember the
theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of
the first girl I ever kissed, and the
vehicle identification number of every
car I've ever owned... but I forgot your
"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I
JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed
a limb but will bleed to death before I
admit that I'm hurt."
I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think
of some pretty soon."
Translated: "It didn't
fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
I DO THIS TIME?"
did you catch me at?"
Translated: "I haven't the
foggiest clue what you just said and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it
well enough so that you don't spend the
next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE
Translated: "I am used to the
way you yell at me and realize it could
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on
one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE
Translated: "No one will
ever see us alive again."
SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
make the messes; she cleans them up."
previous article Newspaper Ad. The following is an ad that appeared four days in a row in a real-life newspaper -- the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one [...]