Red Skelton recipe for the perfect marriage

Articol din categoria: Texte in Engleza English

propus: 2 Aug 2006
sursa: Red Skelton
Red Skelton recipe for the perfect
marriage

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
... She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds.
... Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.


3. I take my wife everywhere... but she keeps finding her way back.


4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time! " she said.
... So I suggested the kitchen.


5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
... So I bought her an electric chair.


7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me "In the lake."


8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
... Then the mud fell off.


9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?"
.. The driver said "No, jump in!"


10. Remember, Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.


11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.


12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
... I don't like to interrupt her.


13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
... I said "Dust!"


"Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it... this is the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word... just clean and simple fun.

Where did it go????"

How To Cook an Egg with Mobile Phones. This article claims (incorrectly, see below, at the end of the article) to provide instructions for cooking an egg by placing it between two live mobile phones. ------------------------ [...]
articol precedent
The leisure party manifesto. A specter is haunting the world - the specter of leisure. All the great powers have conspired against it: Popes and presidents, bankers and unionists, hamburger chains and environmentalists. But, [...]
articol urmator

HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED BY TODAY'S PRESS

Texte in Engleza English : : Vineri, 10 Feb 2006

What goes around comes around

Texte in Engleza English : : Miercuri, 28 Dec 2005

Newspaper Ad

Texte in Engleza English : : Joi, 12 Apr 2007

If Noah Had to Build the Ark in 2006

Texte in Engleza English : : Vineri, 22 Sep 2006

Winners versus losers

Texte in Engleza English : : Marti, 7 Oct 2008

ATM Procedures - Male vs. Female

Texte in Engleza English : : Vineri, 4 Mai 2007

THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

Texte in Engleza English : : Luni, 12 Dec 2005

Bill Gates speech

Texte in Engleza English : : Miercuri, 7 Iun 2006

Mother of the Year Mother of the Year

Texte in Engleza English : : Vineri, 3 Nov 2006

WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?

Texte in Engleza English : : Luni, 28 Nov 2005

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Texte in Engleza English : : Miercuri, 12 Sep 2007

My life My life

Texte in Engleza English : : Vineri, 1 Mai 2009

PARENT - Job Description

Texte in Engleza English : : Joi, 24 Mai 2007

You can't keep a good South African down!

Texte in Engleza English : : Marti, 27 Nov 2007

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

Texte in Engleza English : : Luni, 16 Apr 2007