propus: 8 Apr 2006
sursa: Nu-l stiu
1. Dodging Arrows HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED
BY TODAY'S PRESS. NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were [...]
Does it ever
upset you when a partner expresses anger
or hurt feelings? It's important to
realize that when someone expresses
their feelings, they are not necessarily
They do not
necessarily mean anything they say. They
are, in fact, letting emotional energy
release, like flying arrows. If you
stand in their way - by doing anything
other than just listening - it's like
making yourself a target.
do not - repeat - DO NOT! take anything
personally. Do not try to correct,
disagree or "fix" anything. Do not argue
over a point or try to make a point. But
at the same time, don't just walk away.
Instead breathe, keep quiet and
dodge all arrows! Simply listen to them
as they release their feelings. This
will later be appreciated greatly. It is
a rare gift, one that shows you have
uncommon strength and wisdom.
Most of us
say we want to be involved in a
"supportive" relationship. But what's
the best way to support a partner?
If they are upset, for instance,
what should you do? Try to make them
feel better? Try to reason with them or
solve their problem? Tell them they
shouldn't feel the way they do?
Ironically, such efforts to "help"
usually will upset them more. It comes
across as invalidating.
it's far better just to listen! The most
supportive thing you can do is to really
hear what your partner is saying. This
helps them more than anything else.
Remember to breathe. Realize there's
nothing to solve. Nothing to fix.
Nothing to correct. Maybe even nothing
to say. Don't take anything personally.
Just be there. And mostly be
quiet. This is actually one of the
greatest gifts you can give. It will be
contrast with each other in so many
closeness-needing space, showing
anger-disliking anger, just to name a
Too often, we fight over
whose way is "right" and how things
"should" be done. Like monkeys on a
seesaw, we can polarize in a struggle
over our differences.
powerful to see that differences with a
partner are doorways to our own
wholeness. How does that work? Well,
actually, our partner is showing us an
undeveloped aspect of ourselves. The
fight is less about them and more about
our own inner struggle with that quality
they are showing us.
If we are
truly courageous, we could learn from
them. But at least we could bring more
acceptance to that quality and reduce
some unproductive friction.
articol precedent Bill Gates speech. Bill Gates, love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. [...]