George Bush was sitting in his office
wondering which country to invade next
when his telephone rang.
"Howzit George!", a broken English
voice said. "This is Koos here from the
Doringboom Bar in Welkom,South Africa. I
am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you boet!"
"Well, Koos," George replied,
"This is indeed important news! How big
is your army?"
"Right now,"
said Koos, after a moment's calculation,
"there is myself, my cousin Jan, my next
door neighbour Lang Hannes, and the
entire darts team from the pub. That
makes eight!"
George paused.
"I must tell you, Koos, that I have one
million men in my army waiting to move
on my command."
"Bliksem!",
said Koos. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day,
Koos called again.
"George, my
china, the war is still on! We have
managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"
"And what equipment
would that be, Koos?" George asked.
"Well, we have 4 Hilux double cabs,
two kombis, a bulldozer, and Vet Gert's
John Deere.
George sighed. "I must
tell you, Koos, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers.
Also, I've increased my army to 1,5
million since we last spoke."
"Liewe Hel!" said Koos. "I'll have
to get back to you."
Sure
enough, Koos rang again the next day.
"George, ou swaer, the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves
airborne! We've modified Doepie's
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in
the cockpit, and four okes from the
Virginia hengelklub have joined us as
well!"
George was silent for a
minute and then cleared his throat. "I
must tell you, Koos, that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've
increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Goeie vrek!", said Koos, "I'll have
to ring you back."
Sure
enough, Koos called again the next day.
"Jis, jis, jis George! I am
sorry to tell you that we have had to
call off the war."
"I'm sorry to
hear that," said George. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well," said
Koos, "we've all had a long chat over
some "Klippies & Coke", and decided
there's no way we can feed two million
prisoners of war."