Red Skelton recipe for the perfect
marriage
proposed: 2 Aug 2006
source: Red Skelton
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice
restaurant, have a little beverage, good
food and companionship.
... She
goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate
beds.
... Hers is in California and
mine is in Texas.
3. I
take my wife everywhere... but she keeps
finding her way back.
4.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go
for our anniversary. "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time! " she said.
... So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I
let go, she shops.
6. She
has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker. She
said "There are too many gadgets and no
place to sit down!"
... So I bought
her an electric chair.
7.
My wife told me the car wasn't running
well because there was water in the
carburetor. I asked where the car was,
and she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked
great for two days.
... Then the mud
fell off.
9. She ran after
the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
.. The
driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember, Marriage is the number
one cause of divorce.
11.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know
her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in
18 months.
... I don't like to
interrupt her.
13. The
last fight was my fault though. My wife
asked "What's on the TV?"
... I
said "Dust!"
"Can't you
just hear him say all of these?
I love it... this is the good old
days when humor didn't have to start
with a four letter word... just clean
and simple fun.
Where did it
go????"
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