THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER
propus: 12 Dec 2005
sursa: NA
Actual letter of resignation from an
employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
her boss, who apparently resigned very
soon afterwards!
Dear Mr.
Baker,
As a graduate of an
institution of higher education, I have
a few very basic expectations. Chief
among these is that my direct superiors
have an intellect that ranges above the
common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my
coworkers and me during the commission
of our duties, I can only surmise that
you are one of the few true genetic
wastes of our time.
Asking me,
a network administrator, to explain
every little nuance of everything I do
each time you happen to stroll into my
office is not only a waste of time, but
also a waste of precious oxygen. I was
hired because I know how to network
computer systems, and you were
apparently hired to provide amusement to
myself and other employees, who watch
you vainly attempt to understand the
concept of "cut and paste" for the
hundredth time.
You will never
understand computers. Something as
incredibly simple as binary still gives
you too many options. You will also
never understand why people hate you,
but I am going to try and explain it to
you, even though I am sure this will be
just as effective as telling you what an
IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more
personality than you ever will.
You walk around the building all
day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
others. You have a sharp dressed useless
look about you that may have worked for
your interview, but now that you
actually have responsibility, you pawn
it off on overworked staff, hoping their
talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude. In a world of managerial
evolution, you are the blue-green algae
that everyone else eats and laughs at.
Managers like you are a sad proof of the
Dilbert principle.
Since this
situation is unlikely to change without
you getting a full frontal lobotomy
reversal, I am forced to tender my
resignation, however I have a few
parting thoughts.
1. When
someone calls you in reference to
employment, it is illegal for you to
give me a bad recommendation. The most
you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not
to comment." I will have friends
randomly call you over the next couple
of years to keep you honest, because I
know you would be unable to do it on
your own.
2. I have all the
passwords to every account on the
system, and I know every password you
have used for the last five years. If
you decide to get cute, I am going to
publish your "favorites list", which I
conveniently saved when you made me
"back up" your useless files. I do
believe that terms like "Lolita" are not
usually viewed favorably by the
administration.
3. When you
borrowed the digital camera to "take
pictures of your Mother's birthday," you
neglected to mention that you were going
to take pictures of yourself in the
mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase
them like the techno-moron you really
are. Suffice it to say I have never seen
such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I
assure you that those have been copied
and kept in safe places pending the
authoring of a glowing letter of
recommendation. (Try to use a spell
check please; I hate having to correct
your mistakes.
Thank you for
your time, and I expect the letter of
recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am
tomorrow. One word of this to anybody,
and all of your little twisted repugnant
obsessions will be open to the public.
Never
f*** with your systems
administrator. Why? Because they know
what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and
glorious day,
Cecelia
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Comentariu articol: Daniel - 8 Mai 2010